He Flirted With a Girl in Ramadan And Broke His Fast To Punish Himself

He Flirted With a Girl in Ramaadan And Broke His Fast To Punish Himself

 

Question

I was living in Europe for a long time, 16 years, until I finished my university studies, and I was 22 years old. During the month of Ramadaan, I met a girl by accident in the university residence, which was mixed. I was fasting but the Shaytaan defeated me and I tried to flirt with her and play with her and kiss her. But then I went back to my room regretting what I had done. Then I said: I am a Muslim and I did this in Ramadaan; because of what I have done, I do not deserve to join the sincere daa’iyahs with whom I used to meet every day, and I do not deserve this goodness. By doing this I have definitely broken the fast, and I probably have to do ghusl because of madhiy. Then I drank some water to punish myself and I broke the fast that day. What should I do? Please advise me, may Allaah reward you with good.

Question From 👉👉 : IslamQA – He flirted with a girl in Ramadaan and broke his fast to punish himself

The first step in resolving any mistake is recognizing it, feeling regret, and seeking forgiveness from Allah (سبحانه و تعالى). Your remorse shows that your heart is alive and conscious of Allah. Allah (SWT) says in the Quran:

“And those who, when they commit an immorality or wrong themselves [by transgression], remember Allah and seek forgiveness for their sins – and who can forgive sins except Allah? – and [who] do not persist in what they have done while they know.”
(Surah Aal-e-Imran 3:135)

Also Allah says in the Quran:

Indeed, Allah loves those who are constantly repentant and loves those who purify themselves.”

In Islam, repentance (Tawbah) is the key to erasing sins. The conditions for true repentance are:

  1. Sincerity: Repentance must be for Allah’s sake alone.
  2. Regret: Feel genuine remorse for the sin.
  3. Cessation: Stop committing the sin immediately.
  4. Resolution: Make a firm intention not to return to the sin.

Actions During Fasting and Their Implications

Flirting or kissing during fasting hours does not directly invalidate the fast unless it leads to ejaculation. However, these actions are against the spirit of fasting, which is to cultivate self-restraint.

The Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) displayed immense discipline during fasting, avoiding even permissible acts to set an example of self-control. This should inspire us to remain cautious during Ramadan.

If madhiy (pre-ejaculatory fluid) was discharged, it does not break the fast, but it requires cleaning the private parts and renewing wudu. Ghusl is not necessary in this case unless full ejaculation occurred.

Drinking water intentionally during fasting hours invalidates the fast. This act requires both repentance and making up for the missed fast through Qadha (fasting an additional day).

Sincere Repentance (Tawbah)

Repentance is a gift from Allah to His servants. It involves three key steps: feeling genuine remorse, ceasing the sin, and resolving not to repeat it.

Allah says in the Qur’an:

“Say, O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins.” (Surah Az-Zumar 39:53)

Make your repentance sincere, trusting in Allah’s mercy, and follow it with good deeds to erase the impact of the sin.

Making Up for the Missed Fast

Since you broke your fast deliberately, it is obligatory to fast one day as Qadha. This compensates for the missed fast, fulfilling the obligation.

Delaying Qadha should be avoided. It is better to complete it before the next Ramadan to ensure accountability and peace of mind.

Avoiding Future Temptations

Ramadan is a month designed to train us in self-discipline. Falling into temptation, especially during fasting, is a test that requires vigilance.

Avoid situations that may lead to temptation, such as unnecessary interaction with the opposite gender in private or mixed settings.

Strengthening Your Faith (Iman)

Surround yourself with righteous company that inspires you to stay steadfast. Friends who remind you of Allah can serve as a shield against Shaytaan’s whispers.

Regular acts of worship, including Salah, Quran recitation, and Dhikr, can strengthen your connection with Allah and fortify your heart.

Role of Da’wah in Your Journey

Do not let this mistake prevent you from participating in Da’wah activities. Shaytaan often uses despair to push believers away from righteousness.

Instead, let this experience deepen your understanding of Allah’s mercy and motivate you to guide others with sincerity and humility.

What Should Be Done Now?

a. Make Up for the Broken Fast

Since you intentionally drank water, the fast of that day is invalid. You must:

  • Fast one day as Qadha to compensate for the missed fast.
  • Perform this Qadha fast as soon as possible, especially before the next Ramadan arrives.

b. Offer Sincere Tawbah

The act of deliberately breaking your fast in Ramadan is a significant sin. Seek forgiveness from Allah and increase in good deeds. Allah is Oft-Forgiving and Most Merciful.

c. Ghusl If Necessary

If ejaculation occurred during your interaction or due to the act of kissing, you must perform Ghusl (ritual purification) before praying or fasting again. However, if there was only madhiy, Ghusl is not required—only wudu is necessary.

d. Continue Your Path of Goodness

Shaytaan whispers to discourage believers and push them into despair. Do not let this mistake prevent you from continuing to participate in Da’wah or acts of worship. Allah loves those who repent and return to Him. Shaytaan’s goal is to make you feel unworthy, but Allah’s mercy is vast.

Encouragement from the Sunnah

The Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) said:

“Every son of Adam sins, and the best of those who sin are those who repent.”
(Tirmidhi)

And he also said:

“By the One in Whose hand is my soul, if you did not sin, Allah would replace you with people who would sin and they would seek forgiveness from Allah, and He would forgive them.”
(Sahih Muslim)

This highlights the importance of seeking forgiveness and not despairing of Allah’s mercy.

Moving Forward

  • Increase in acts of worship, such as Salah, fasting, and charity.
  • Engage in Dhikr (remembrance of Allah) and Quran recitation.
  • Surround yourself with righteous company to strengthen your Iman.
  • Avoid situations that may lead to similar temptations in the future.

Final Words

Your journey of repentance and striving for Allah’s pleasure is a testament to your faith. Mistakes are part of human nature, but what matters most is how you respond to them. Remember, Allah’s mercy is greater than any sin, and He loves those who turn to Him in repentance.

May Allah forgive your sins, guide you on the straight path, and strengthen your Iman. Ameen.

 

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